bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Alive.
So much puke
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
