You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
