I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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