why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
