yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Come on in and take your pants off
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