what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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