There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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