oh god the rape fog is back!
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
