bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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