yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
