Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
