I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
