Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
