she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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