At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
