Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
