sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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