Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
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WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
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Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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