we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
