new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
When are your genitals available?
Dicks are not precious.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
