Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize