tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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