I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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