How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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