I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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