I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
