He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
