When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
