I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
