just come out here and I will go home with you...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize