I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
