So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
