Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
