Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
