Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
As shirtless as possible
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
