Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
