The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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