Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
