We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
