Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
