you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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