she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
