Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
