Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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