My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
