i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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