We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
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Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
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You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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