she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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