Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
