It's Friday. Sex?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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