i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
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Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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