don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
