This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
