i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
