Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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