Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
