well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
