Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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