I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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