This is not my ceiling
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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