So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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